Archive for January 18th, 2008

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David Rubenstein of the Carlyle Group was scheduled to speak at the Wharton Private Equity Forum in Philadelphia this morning, but his speech was disturbed by protesters from the Service Employees International Union. Eventually, the Philadelphia police arrived and ‘escorted’ the protesters away.

The protest was inspired by Carlyle’s buy of Toledo-based ManorCare, the largest chain of nursing homes in the U.S. (There’s a photo of the protest over at DealBreaker, featuring a massive banner that was unfurled at the conference, reading “Carlyle: Fix Manor Care nursing homes! NOW.”) A flier handed out by the SEIU at the protest asked Carlyle to “Put People Above Profits.” Seems that the union suspects that Carlyle might try to make money through other people’s suffering — and indeed make some people’s suffering worse in the pursuit of profits.

The union’s website dedicated to Carlyle and other private equity big shots says that it is “concerned that Carlyle’s business practices might put everyday Americans at risk by endangering public services, imperiling the environment, jeopardizing the health of vulnerable senior citizens, and supporting human rights abuses abroad.” Of course, SEIU isn’t alone is these concerns. Some Democrats have called for Congress to investigate the situation.

Apparently, Rubenstein was initially shocked by the protest, but recovered in time to mock the protesters’ proletarian language skills, urging one woman to “take a remedial course in English before you go any further.” His speech eventually got under way, and in it he admitted that the image of private equity is now “tarnished.” But private equity is about to enter a new golden age — actually, a “platinum age,” as he called it — and as long as private equity firms can do a superior job at promoting themselves and doing things like giving generously to charity, all should be well. After all, capitalism is a “combat sport.” An interesting sport, though, that requires police intervention to protect one side against the other.

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The on the internet mating service industry is thriving, with ads for companies like eharmony.com filling the screen during the hours singles are most apt to be sitting home alone. However, none have taken the pitch to the level of start-up ScientificMatch.com, which promises to find your ideal mate by their personal body odor.

The company claims that by testing DNA it can determine which people have a personal aroma that will most appeal to you. A proper odor match can, it claims, lead to superior and more orgasms, less cheating, more fertility, and healthier children.

The company doesn’t depend entirely on complementary personal chemistry, though. Backing it up is value matching and a personal preferences profile.

And what, you may ask, does such a service cost? For a mere 1,995.95 freaking dollars per year, ScientificMatch.com will match you with the person of your olfactory dreams. The service is currently only offered in the Boston area, but if it recruits enough suckers clients, I’m sure it will go national.

Hmmm. I’m picking up an aroma right now, and it isn’t the smell of love. It smells more like hogwash.

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McAree's banking on Swifts windfall - Belfast Telegraph

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The stock market has taken another big hit today reacting to numerous economic headlines like Merrill Lynch Posts Steep 4Q Loss and Novartis 4Q Net Profit Falls 45 Percent, and worse yet a regional Federal Reserve report showed a sharp decline in manufacturing activity and as investors grew concerned that downgrades of key bond insurers could trigger further trouble with souring debt.

But this was the day that Ben Bernanke the Fed Chair reported to congress and tried to pacify the markets with his open mind about shoring up the economy through economic stimulous.

Perhaps it is my imagination, but it seems to me that when Alan Greenspan spoke, for better or worse, he was able to exert a calming influence on Wall Street if that was his intention. When Bernanke attempts the same trick somehow it feels like something is missing.

Please do not misunderstand me. I don’t select to debate the style or substance of these two accomplished gentlemen, just the market response to the choice of words and timing of those words. Perhaps, it is the times we live in and not their acumen on the job, but the DJIA closed down 306.95 points to 12,159.21 today.

What would have happened if Bernanke didn’t talk? Would it be still worse? What if congress called on Greenspan to address them; just for old times sake, would it have been different? Greenspan was chairman for 19 years, surely he’d a lot of bad days. Today looks to be just one of many bad days ahead… and that’s coming from an optimist.

Sheldon Liber is the CEO of a small private investment company and the principal for design and research at an architecture & planning firm. Read his Chasing Value and Serious Money columns

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