Filed under: Rants and raves, Scandals, JPMorgan Chase (JPM), Headline news, Bear Stearns Cos (BSC), Stocks to Sell

At a mere $276 million, celebrity talk-show host and entertainment billionaire Oprah Winfrey could afford to buy Bear Stearns (NYSE: BSC), which closed Tuesday at $5.91 per share and keeps on climbing to over $6.50 a share in morning trading. The story alone and the associated publicity would be worth at least that. Furthermore, she could at least make an offer and demand a meeting with the Federal Reserve Board to discuss the issue.

If her offer was rejected, she would still be able to generate millions of dollars of publicity and perhaps she might want to acquire the asset, in particular if the Fed is going to protect the acquirer from potential losses. She could really become an international mogul, the likes of which has not been seen. We all know that Oprah wants to do good. She is so giving, this could be the ultimate.

I could just see the headlines: Oprah Winfrey takes on JP Morgan Chase (NYSE: JPM) and the Federal Reserve to rescue John Q. Public.

For those of you who think I jest, I kid you not. Bear Stearns is being sold way too cheap and this dubious thought about potential white knights came to me because I myself would make an offer if I had the money. If nothing else, it would allow me see JPM’s deal sheet.

Oprah isn’t the only celebrity who could do this deal. Given the level of risk, perhaps Michael Jordan would have an interest? He is a notorious gambler, and like all the other Wall Street huge shots, is a heck of a golfer and smokes large cigars. He has historically done very well in huge games; this is a big game for sure! His headline would be very cute too: Bear Stearns saying to the Fed: Hey, I know, lets get Mike-ee!”

The possibilities are endless. Maybe Steven Spielberg would buy BSC for the story rights. Many of his films have made far more money than the reported BSC price tag. He could make it a mini-series. Teamed up with his pal George Lucas, they could make back the money and have a head begin by selling Bear Stearns $1.1 billion headquarters and relocate the staff to Skywalker Ranch in California.

So much of what goes on in Wall Street is fiction anyway. Harrison Ford would sign on in a heartbeat for the lead, and at his age he would be perfect to play a cross between Indiana Jones and Carl Icahn. I’m sure Carl would sign on for a cameo scene. Okay, I’ll stop now before someone comes to take me away.

In the real news, it was reported this morning that “Secretive billionaire Joseph Lewis and former Bear Stearns chief Jimmy Cayne are quietly searching for a white knight to top the $276 million takeover offer by JPMorgan.”

I hope they read this post; it might give Joe and Jim some creative ideas.

Sheldon Liber is the CEO of a small private investment company and the design and research principal for an architecture and planning firm. He writes Chasing Value and Serious Money columns. Disclosure: I am a shareholder in BSC.

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Filed under: Major movement, Rumors, Rants and raves, Market matters, Scandals, JPMorgan Chase (JPM), Serious Money, Headline news, Bear Stearns Cos (BSC), Stocks to Sell

There must a few other market saps out there like me who are wondering why Bear Stearns (NYSE: BSC) shut yesterday at $5.91 per share when it has been reported continuously for the last 72 hours that JP Morgan Chase (NYSE: JPM) was only paying $2 per share to take over the company. Now it is being reported that the figure is $2.34 — Oh boy!

I say market saps because I hold the stock and could sell it for more than the $2 but I don’t. Why not? What am I hoping for? Until this morning there has not even been the slightest rumor that some white knight will come to the rescue and acquire the company for more than the measly $238 to $276 million price tag being discussed.

Yesterday I wrote that what “JP Morgan Chase (NYSE: JPM) is paying for Bear Stearns (NYSE: BSC) would not have been enough to purchase the brand name last year, never mind the whole company.” This being the case, I would love to see the line by line worksheet that the negotiators (some might call them scoundrels) assisted by the Federal Reserve Board worked up to determine the acquisition price. I comprehend that JPM is assuming a mountain of liabilities but I thought that the Fed has given JPM assurances that they would cover short term losses. In the long run, some of that bad paper is going to be worth billions of dollars.

I would like to know what the actual risks are that JPM is assuming? On the other hand, no one else has stepped forward to do the deal. So what are the possibilities? We’ve all heard that truth is stranger than fiction. I have a feeling that if we ever learn the truth about the BSC - JPM deal, this will be demonstrated once again.

Sheldon Liber is the CEO of a small private investment company and the design and research principal for an architecture and planning firm. He writes Chasing Value and Serious Money columns. Disclosure: I’m a shareholder in BSC.

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Filed under: Banks, Ripoffs and Scams, Technology

I just got an email warning from my savings & loan in Ohio. It said:

“We have learned that a number of Northeast Ohio banks are the target of fraudulent phone messages also known as “phishing” phone calls. The automated voice on the phishing call tells you that your account has been deactivated. The “voice” then instructs you to call an 800 or 866 phone number where you are further instructed by a real person or another automated voice to enter your account numbers. These “phishing” calls are NOT from Third Federal. Third Federal will not call you with an automated message and ask you to respond with personal information about your accounts. Do not respond to these calls; do not enter your account number; and don’t give any personal details to the caller. “

Never, ever call back a toll free number given in an email or over the phone regarding your bank or credit cards. If you do get a fraud alert from your banking institution, call a number that you know gets you to the bank, such as the standard customer service number and ask about the email or automated phone call.

I’m sure this attack isn’t limited to Ohio banks or will be repeated in another say soon. It’s a common fraud attempt. Stay safe. Don’t be the victim of a phishing attack.

Lita Epstein has written more than 20 books including the “Complete Idiot’s Guide to Improving Your Credit Score.”

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